By Navin
Under the brightly illuminated name board of 'Parvathi Women's Hostel' on the
slightly cracked entrance wall, the car sputters to life with a couple of coughs as
the doors close. Annette notices a door improperly closed and shuts it firmly
before settling into her seat. Justin struggles with the front passenger seat belt
for a few seconds, then gives up with an exhausted sigh. He adjusts his glasses,
rubs his eyes, and then secures the seat belt properly. After confirming the ride's
OTP, the driver sets off.
Justin gazes at the left side mirror through the window, holding back tears and
squinting against the flashing blinker light, hoping for a last glimpse of her face.
Meanwhile, Sameeha stands beside the hostel warden, turning her back to the
car and tucks her fringe behind her ear as she watches it turn away. She longs
for one final glance at him. Justin catches sight of her once more, still amazed by
her beauty which kept impressing him from the time they both met. Yet, he
knows this is their last meeting. Neither of them can see each other again. As
their eyes lock for the final time, they part ways, uncertain if they will ever speak
again.
Justin cannot believe what has happened, and what is happening. All he can
think about is her; Sameeha. His elbow rests on the closed car window, his
knuckles supporting his head. Justin can feel his breath on his hand. Suddenly,
he starts breathing manually and becomes uncomfortable. He shifts about on
the seat, trying to get comfortable. Noticing his restlessness, Annette taps his
shoulder.
"Are you okay?" Annette asks.
"Yes, Ma," Justin replies.
“Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something before going home?”
“No, Ma, let's just go home.”
She pats him and leans back in her seat. Justin sits still, his gaze locked on the
pacing black and white design on the road divider as he feels heavy and unable
to move. In the corner of his eye, Justin sees the driver turn on the radio, then
switches the source to the MP3 player. A song starts playing, and Justin cannot
believe what it is: Aval by Santhosh Narayanan.
Upon entering the flyover, the driver changes gear. He glances at the rearview
mirror, finding Annette immersed in her mobile phone; she is texting Justin's
father.
"Who is she?" the driver asks, lowering the volume of the speaker.
Annette looks up, confused.
"Sorry?" she asks.
"I mean, who's that girl at the hostel?"
"Oh, yes, she's just someone. She needed help."
"I see. She looked like she ran off or something, that's why I was curious."
"Yeah, she did run off. We helped her back to her hostel."
"That's good. Is she studying or working? She looks young."
"She's... working. Not sure what..."
“You know, kids these days, always on their phones and not living the life around
them. They don't believe in their parents they see every day but they'd happily
believe a stranger they meet online. A stranger with no face, no voice. Right?”
Annette says.
The driver chuckles lightly, agreeing, “Yeah, you are right. That is very true.”
Justin sits there, overhearing the conversation. He does not like it one bit. He
clenches his jaw and feels his throat tighten. Don't cry, man. Don't cry! He
admonished himself silently. What do they know about her? They know nothing!
Nothing at all!
Justin notices that they have reached the bottom of the flyover. Another 30
minutes. He calculates. The driver looks at the time; 23:36. Then, he sees Justin
looking a little bereaved. His phone keeps vibrating; his father is messaging him,
which Justin ignores.
“Do you know her?” he asks Justin.
There are a few seconds of silence before Justin realises the driver is talking to
him.
Justin sits up and takes a breath only to shake his head in dissent. The driver
understands. The car slows down going over a small stretch of dirt road, the
driver is careful about not letting the car shake too much. Justin, still gazing out
the window, watches the extremely dark grass field extend from the side of the
road. The car gets back on the proper road again, and Justin zones out.
He reflects on all the times he spoke with Sameeha. Out of all the time he spent
on Instagram, he only remembers texting her. Justin had been talking with
Sameeha for so long that he forgot how they met. Funny videos, relatable photos,
song lyrics, and almost everything he found interesting, he would share it with
her. However, that did not spark the boundless love he found for her.
What is your biggest dream? Justin asked in a voice message.
My biggest dream is to travel to places. Not popular places. I want to roam around
in nature, on huge grassy fields, feel the nice cold wind on my face, skip around
oak trees, lie down on the shade of the leaves and branches, and listen to music the
entire time I'm there. She replied.
Listening to her slightly trembling voice explain her dream, Justin could not
fathom it immediately. He could not understand if she was eager or desperate.
Justin started to feel an unexplainable affection grow inside him for her.
I know I couldn't do any of the things I wish to do. Sometimes I'm afraid to even
think about those things because I don't want to grieve these dreams and thoughts
in 10 years time, because I know my life would be worse then. She added.
As both of them spent most of their time chatting, they slowly started to trust
each other to share their life's happenings. Justin feels grateful for having
parents who are understanding and nurturing which he really appreciates. Their
family enjoys financial stability, so Justin has all the luxuries he could desire.
Upon discovering Sameeha's life circumstances, Justin was flooded with guilt
about his own privileged lifestyle. He knew he was lucky but he never imagined
someone to struggle like Sameeha did.
Sameeha, from a difficult family with abusive parents, had graduated from
college with average grades and started to work staying in a women's hostel. She
could not shake the feeling that her parents were continuously trying to assert
their dominance over her. Her parents would fight amongst themselves too
which Sameeha could never understand the reason. She found herself
questioning whether her parents' behaviour was ingrained from birth or just
deliberate actions.
How could someone express so much hatred towards another person? You don't
have to show love, just don't hate. Sameeha would ponder. Maybe they too were
brought up this way, allowing them to think that treating me the same way is
correct. Bismillah, I will never be like that to my future children.
Initially, when Justin and Sameeha connected online, Sameeha was reserved
about telling about her life and family. However, as their relationship grew and
Sameeha developed trust in Justin, she gradually opened up. She began sharing
the complexities of her life with him over time.
My parents never trusted me for a long time. Whenever they went out, they'd lock
the house from outside so I wouldn't get out. I wasn't even allowed to lock the
bathroom door when I'm showering or the bedroom door when I'm changing. I hate
staying in the house; I’d always wait for the time to leave for college, and coming
back home feels like returning to hell. I even realised that I’ve started talking less.
I’d go days without speaking to anyone. I don’t like living like this. She told Justin.
As their conversations grew deep, Justin's perspective on life and society shifted
as he delved into Sameeha's experiences. He began to ponder his own place in
the world.
There are people like Sameeha suffering so much, why isn't anyone talking about
this? What is the government doing? I want to help her so badly. Justin
contemplated. I too might be a reason for this to be happening.
Their conversations on such emotional matters fostered a growing trust between
them. This made Justin unknowingly develop feelings for Sameeha. Meanwhile,
Sameeha's mind raced with thoughts of their evolving relationship. Her heart
yearned for the chance to meet Justin in person and share intimate moments
together. Each day of chatting and showing love to each other, even when they
were aware they might not meet personally, helped deepen the bond between
them.
While Justin had his profile set to public and had already posted several pictures
of himself with friends, Sameeha had never shared a photo of herself. Despite
Justin's initial curiosity and requests for her photo when they first started
chatting, Sameeha never obliged. However, after they grew close, exchanging
constant texts and back-to-back voice messages, Sameeha felt comfortable
sending Justin a selfie. A low quality dimly lit selfie of her in the hostel room.
She was wearing her night dress, her hair a messy bun. A little piercing on her
nose, and a shy smile. Justin started to feel special upon seeing how she looks for
the first time.
I can take you anywhere you want to go, Sameeha. We can spend an entire day
outside, eat at the best places, and just roam around. I can take you away. Justin
promised her.
When I found out you were younger than me and rich, I thought you were one of
those immaturely luxurious boys living off spending his father's money. You're
actually way better than that, Justin. Sameeha confessed.
I know that you know I have feelings for you. I know you do too. I like talking and
flirting with you, we can send voice messages, spam our favourite songs lyrics. I
don't want to break all that by confessing my feelings for you. There, I said it.
Please don't leave me. When I start working too, we can do something. Like get
married or stay together. I know your love can hold me down. I really need you.
Justin expressed.
You have no idea how desperate I am to get a break from all this. I don't like my
job, my grades aren't good, I hate my roommates and the food here is awful. I earn
9000 rupees and give 7500 to my parents. I can't eat out, watch movies or do
anything else. I just want to run away. Sameeha confided.
As Justin sits in the car, those memories swirl around him, bringing tears to his
eyes. He blinks rapidly, trying to ward off the urge to cry. Time drags by at a
sluggish pace, each minute feeling like an eternity as Justin anxiously watches
the time, wishing for it to quickly pass. Why is this happening to me...? He thinks.
Now, he is fighting to ignore the racing thoughts he is having. Thoughts from a
few hours back, when he met Sameeha.
They frequently talked about meeting up. Sameeha would talk about running off
all the time. Justin, lacking the courage, dismissed it as a joke. But for Sameeha,
it meant something more—a chance to break free from struggles, job monotony,
horrible hostel food, and parental pressure. Finally, she resolved it was time.
Justin got a call from Sameeha.
“Justin, hi, it’s me. I need to see you. I... I ran away. From the hostel. Please come
to me, I’m scared,” she sobbed.
Justin was shocked, and did not know what to do. He could not even think of what
to say to her.
“Hello, Justin? Are you there, hello?”
“Yes, yes. Oh my God, um... where are you exactly?” he asked.
“I’m at Kumaran Cinemas, at uh... Madipakkam,” she replied.
“Okay, share the location via WhatsApp. I’ll meet you there,” Justin said.
Justin rushed to tell Annette, his words stumbling. Annette, also shocked,
proceeded to console him as tears streamed down his face. She was wary of his
tendency to encounter breathing difficulties if he cried excessively.
“Just when your Dad isn’t here, all this happens,” Annette said, “Okay, let’s go see
her. Come!”
They booked a cab and got there as soon as possible. Annette made the cab wait
before going to meet Sameeha. Justin paced around the entrance, looking in all
directions. He had only seen her photo once which made it harder for him to
spot her. Annette stood at one spot and attended the call from Justin’s father. She
began explaining everything to him. Justin saw Annette standing with her phone.
He got upset because he did not want his father to know. That was when he heard
a familiar voice call out his name.
“Justin?”
Justin swiftly turned around to find Sameeha walking towards him, dressed in
her work uniform with a shawl covering her head. Overwhelmed, tears filled
Justin's eyes as he approached her. It was his first time seeing her up close. He
noticed the delicate freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks, her undone
brunette hair swaying from beneath her shawl. Sameeha, standing shorter than
Justin, met his eyes with a look of tremendous desperation. Both stood in silence,
awkwardly staring and heavily breathing. Annette went up to them after talking
with Justin’s father.
“How- how are you?” Justin stammered.
Sameeha's tears flowed as she shook her head in distress. Justin, feeling helpless,
stood there, unaware of if he should console her or cry with her. Annette went
there with a clear head as Justin's father had instructed her on what to do.
Annette ended up consoling Sameeha when Justin backed off. She got
information about Sameeha's hostel and decided to bring her back. She had no
other choice but to accept their help and return to the hostel. Justin felt the urge
to speak, but a mix of emotions clouded his thoughts, leaving him unable to do
so. He kept glancing at Sameeha, noticing her visibly devastated.
Annette found the cab driver smoking standing beside the car, went and asked
him to bring them to the hostel before dropping them back at their house. The
driver agreed and they left. Justin sitting in front while Annette and Sameeha
occupying the back seats, the ride to the hostel was too painful for him. Justin
could smell Sameeha's fragrance inside the air conditioned car amidst the dead
silence; he longed to smell her presence all his life. None of them knew what to
say about what had happened. An hour drive later it was time for Sameeha to get
off at the hostel where the warden and the manager were waiting at the entrance.
Annette got out too to talk to the warden and manager. She suggested talking to
Sameeha's parents about everything but Sameeha nervously denied. They could
see she needed some time for herself. They realised that she was an adult, so she
had the final say. Few minutes later, Annette left in the cab with Justin.
Justin understands what Sameeha actually needed. He found love for her while
Sameeha longed for joy and peace; she is so fed up with her life but she is lucky
to understand that instead of blindly passing each day with pain. Sometimes it is
not called love, but it is achieved by someone who loves. Justin loves Sameeha
which is different from how Sameeha loves Justin. Perhaps, if given enough time,
both of them would have understood that.
Justin, feeling dead inside, tries to think about something else. He cannot keep
on thinking about Sameeha or what had happened. He unlocks his phone and
sees a list of messages from his father on the notification bar. The last message
being ‘I'm not mad, Justin, I'm here for you’. Justin starts to feel a little calm.
“I think the youth these days must surrender themselves to their parents,” the
driver says.
“Definitely. Well said. Parents know everything about their child, they know
what’s best for them.” Annette agrees.
“When the time is right, an unbreakable bond will be formed, between the child
and his parents, right? Then the freedom of working, staying away, choosing a
partner will come automatically. Right, madam?”
“Yes, yes. True.”
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it
produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained
by it. Hebrews Chapter 12, Verse 11.” The driver quotes.
Annette is somewhat surprised.
“Yeah, that is it.”
“I have seen most of everything in my life, madam. All the hardship, they’d
happen to me or happen because of me. I had huge dreams, but now, I guess it’s
okay, driving. Helping people whenever I can.”
Justin looks at the time again; 00:12. Below the time displayed, he can see the
name of the song that is playing; Iragai Poley by Yuvan Shankar Raja. The car
turns left, entering their neighbourhood.
“I didn’t know you were Christian. What’s your name?” Annette asks the driver.
“Haha, me, madam? I thought you’d have seen it on the app itself. My name is
Justin. Justin Inbaraj.” he replies.
Justin is shocked and his eyes widen. Annette is taken aback too, and smiles.
They have reached their house. As soon as he gets out of the car, Justin grabs the
house keys from Annette. He opens the house, walks in, and kicks his shoes off.
Annette pays the fare and follows Justin in. The house is dark with just the small
decoration lights on. Annette tells Justin to sleep with no worries and they will
talk about everything the next morning. Annette stands there waiting for him to
hug her. Justin does so and then walks upstairs to his room.
He grabs his pack of cigarettes from his table and goes up to the terrace. He is so
stressed that his hands tremble as he takes out a cigarette. Justin lights it and
takes a long drag. Then, he feels his phone vibrate, but it is a different vibration.
He checks and it is a voice message from Sameeha. He quickly switches the
cigarette to his left hand as he opens the message, puts his phone against his ear
to listen to it. Justin feels warm as the cold midnight wind seems to stop, in fact
the whole world seems to have stopped for him, as he hears Sameeha's voice for
one last time that says: I love you.
By Navin
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