By Kamesh Shankar V
Understanding Grief.
Grief is a profound sorrow and emotional suffering that individuals experience following a significant loss. This loss could be the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or any other event that significantly alters one’s life. The intensity and duration of grief can vary greatly depending on the individual's emotional attachment and the extent to which their life is affected.
Common Causes of Grief:
The most common reason for grief, worldwide, is the loss of a loved one. Many people seek grief counselling primarily after the death of a close person or when a loved one is terminally ill. The emotions tied to the deceased do not simply vanish; instead, individuals must find meaningful ways to express their ongoing love and remembrance.
The Neuro-Biology of Grief:
Hormones play a significant role in the grieving process. Hormones like oxytocin and serotonin, which are associated with social bonding and emotional well-being, are affected by grief. When a person connects with a loved one, these hormones are released, strengthening neural pathways and enhancing
emotional bonds. After a loss, the absence of these interactions can lead to decreased levels of these hormones, contributing to feelings of loneliness and sadness.
Conversely, the stress hormone cortisol can build up in the body due to the emotional strain of grief. Excessive cortisol can cause physical symptoms such as muscle tension, particularly in the neck, jaw, chest, and diaphragm, and can lead to chronic stress-related conditions.
Psychological Impact of Grief:
Grief often triggers fear and anxiety, leading to persistent palpitations, especially when confronted with triggers like loud noises or racing thoughts about the future. This anxiety can escalate into panic attacks, exacerbating cortisol buildup and causing sleep deprivation. Such thoughts are common at night when people are more prone to reflect on their future.
Grieving individuals frequently experience mood-congruent memories, where their current emotional state influences the memories they recall. This can create a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions, making it difficult to move on with life.
Coping with Grief:
Effective coping strategies involve creating meaningful rituals to honor the deceased rather than trying to distract oneself. Engaging in activities that allow for the expression of love and remembrance is crucial. For example, one might plant a tree in memory of the loved one, keep a journal of memories, or participate in charitable acts in their name.
Cultural Beliefs About Death:
Beliefs about death vary widely across cultures, generally falling into three categories:
● Rebirth: The belief in reincarnation.
● Afterlife: The belief that the deceased go to heaven or transform into divine beings.
● Finality: The belief that death is the end of life.
Each of these beliefs influences how individuals process grief.Understanding these cultural contexts is essential in providing further care and support to the griever.
Grief Theories and Coping Techniques Based on Beliefs About Death:
1.Belief in Rebirth:
The belief in rebirth, or reincarnation, is rooted in religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism. They believe that the soul is eternal and after death,it is reborn into a new body. The cycle
of birth, death, and rebirth continues until the soul achieves enlightenment or liberation (moksha or nirvana).
Grief Theory: Attachment Theory
Attachment Theory, originally developed by John Bowlby, posits that humans form deep emotional bonds with others, and the loss of these bonds results in grief. This theory has been extended to understand the ongoing connection between the bereaved and the deceased.
Spiritual Connection:
Encourage rituals that honor the deceased's ongoing journey, such as lighting lamps or candles, offering prayers, and performing ceremonies like the "Shraddha."
- Reading and reflecting on sacred texts that discuss reincarnation and karma, helping the bereaved find comfort in the belief of the soul’s continuity.
-practices like mindfulness and meditation to help individuals connect with their inner selves and the spiritual path of the deceased.
2. Belief in Afterlife:
Belief in an afterlife is prevalent in religions such as Christianity, Islam, and Judaism. It holds that after death, the soul continues to exist in another realm, such as heaven, paradise, or a spiritual world. This belief often includes the idea of eternal life and divine judgment.
Grief Theory: Continuing Bonds Theory:
The Continuing Bonds Theory, proposed by Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman, and Steven Nickman, suggests that maintaining a connection with the deceased can be healthy and beneficial. Instead of "letting go," this theory supports the idea of keeping the deceased as a part of one's ongoing life.
Application:
- Encourage participation in religious services, prayer groups, and memorial ceremonies to honor the deceased and reinforce the belief in their continued existence.
- Suggest creating physical or digital memorials to keep the memory of the deceased alive, such as memorial gardens, tribute websites, or dedicating charitable acts in their name.
-Encourage performing good deeds and acts of charity in the name of the deceased, reflecting their values and beliefs.
3. Belief in Death as the End of Life
This belief, often associated with secular or atheistic viewpoints, holds that death is the final end of existence. There is no afterlife, and the focus is on the finite nature of life and the importance of making the most of it.
Grief Theory: Dual Process Model:
The Dual Process Model, developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut, describes how people oscillate between loss-oriented activities (directly dealing with the grief) and restoration-oriented activities (adjusting to life without the deceased). This dynamic process helps individuals gradually adapt to their new reality.
Acceptance and Meaning-Making:
Encourage the bereaved to find personal meaning in their loss and integrate the experience into their life narrative. This could involve journaling, creating art, or storytelling.
Balanced Coping: Promote the balance between confronting the reality of the loss and engaging in activities that help rebuild a life without the deceased. This might include taking up new hobbies, pursuing new goals, or reconnecting with community activities.
Grief as Waves:
Grief often comes in waves and is considered a normal human emotion. While the intensity of grief can diminish over time, it can resurface with the same strength as when the loss first occurred. This non-linear process means that each person grieves in their own unique way and timeframe.
Psychologists generally agree that grief should not be treated as a pathology. As long as individuals continue to fulfill their roles and responsibilities, it is normal to grieve for years. This prolonged grief does not signify an inability to move on but rather a deep-seated emotional bond with the deceased.
The Struggle in Emotional and Physical Expressions:
The struggle after a loved one's death often lies in the inability to express the love that was once directed towards the person who is no longer there. Individuals do not wish to forget their loved ones but want to transform these memories into a source of strength rather than a barrier to living their lives.
References:
- American Psychological Association (APA) - National Institutes of Health (NIH) - The Recovery Village
By Kamesh Shankar V
Comments