By Santvana Sukhwal
The night which changed so much for me. We all, whole family was sat together as always for supper in my parent’s room. TV was on in background with some South India movie and my big brother was in mood to tease me. He always likes to pull leg of mine at end of the day to lighten the mood and for a good laughter. We were almost at end of the supper when suddenly my mother started to cough heavily. My dad kept stroking her back lightly up and down for some comfort to her, but in vain. She started sweating more and got short breath sitting in her place.
We waited few seconds to see if see recovers from it.
There was no change in her situation but it was getting on bad side. My brother got up quickly and got his bike keys and asked me to bring my mother downstairs to take her hospital. We all got in action. My father and I took my mom downstairs where my brother was ready with his bike. I saw him rushing to hospital getting smaller and smaller with each second and moving forward away from my eyesight. As I walked back in my home and sat near my dog to pet her.
My father got a call from my brother and he just said “I will be there in 5 minutes”. He asked me to get his wallet, extra money and phone. I got feared and a shiver ran down my spine. I asked him to take me along and he asked me to get keys to lock the home. We rushed to hospital on way my brother called to inform that my mother is in ICU already and there are on second floor of the nearest hospital. I felt my eyes filled with unshed tears of fear and told my father what was told to me by my brother on call.
We reached hospital and rushed to ICU. As we reached second floor and opened ICU and entered. The entire colour from my face vanished and I stood still with tears running down my face. My mother was on a hospital bed sitting hyper with an oxygen mask and lots of tubes attached to her both arms. She was not able to breathe on her own. I couldn’t hear anyone clearly. Everyone was rushing and whisper-yelling. All the staff of both shifts (evening and night) attending to her with 2 doctors examining her. I met her eyes in that daze and fear gripped me. I saw my mother in a state, I never imagined for her or anyone for god’s sake. I was still in one place and my brother was near my mother. He was not his self. My father was standing as looking everywhere to understand what is happening to his lifeline. The staff asked my father to take me out. I couldn’t control my heart wrecked sobs from coming with tears. My father took me outside and asked me sit in one of many chairs.
I sat as I was asked to with a blank mind and a single image freeze in memory of my mother on hospital bed hardly breathing with a mask on her face and almost lifeless expression on her face. I kept sitting near window and kept still for how long don’t know. I kept praying to god for getting my mother better. She is a good soul. She does all the right things. The lady who is centre of my life, it must have been a few seconds but felt like a whole lifetime. I saw my brother coming out of that ICU door and he walked to me with a unlike expression I couldn’t read. I took me in his arms. Those tears were just running like open taps forgotten. For me he kept repeating mom is good but i couldn’t shake that image.
Few minutes later my brother asked me to go in and see her. I said no that I can’t see her like this but I needed to see her for myself that she is better. I went in that place again. Walked in to her bed where nursing staff was attending her and she was in a deep slumber. IV’s on both her arms, injections given to her and an oxygen mask on her mouth. Close to her bed attached to the back wall there was a machine attached to her upper arm telling her BP, pulse and oxygen in her body?
That time she was a shell of herself, shallow, pale, almost lifeless version of the lady who gave me my life. I couldn’t see her like that but I couldn’t break down either or they won’t let me stay with her. I just turned back to see my father is with doctor. I walked up to him few steps back and held his arms for dear life.
I stood near him listening to their conversation where my father was asking about what and how this happened to my mother and how is her status now?
Doctor was showing him ECG test result and was telling him that my mother is on risk as her BP was over 300 when she arrived. I couldn’t process anything else all I could think was SHE WAS AT RISK. That was unsaid deal that my tears had. They just started to flow without any stop. And an image with a stranger’s line was freeze that SHE WAS AT RISK.
The little strength my father had for us was gone. I felt the world of mine upside down in turmoil. It left me crying and begging to god for my mother’s life. I felt my father trying to hold himself together for name sake. My brother sat holding my mother hand.
The night which I will never forget.......
The night I almost lost my centre...........
By Santvana Sukhwal
Comments