Ocean of Unspoken Memories

By Manohar Choppa

Ocean of Unspoken Memories

Manohar

“The most peaceful souls are often the one-sided lovers. With no expectations, there's no room for disappointment. They love freely, without the weight of reciprocity. 'I will love you, whether you love me back or not'—that’s their quiet strength,

and in that simplicity, they find true happiness.”

Chapters

Acknowledgment

1. New Beginnings

2. The Search and Struggle

3. A New Beginning and a Misstep

4. The Masked Approach

5. Daily Conversations

6. The Growing Tension

7. The Growing Distance

8. The Unexpected Message

9. The Strained Silence

10. The Long-Awaited Meeting

11. A Heart Left in Silence

12. Emerging from Thoughts, Facing Realities

13. Rekindling Connections

14. Embracing the Journey

Acknowledgment

First and foremost, I want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone who has taken the time to read this book.

Your support, curiosity, and interest mean the world to me.

To those who have been part of this journey, whether you realize it or not, thank you for inspiring the words on these pages. Your presence in my life has shaped the

thoughts, emotions, and stories I’ve shared here.

A special thanks to my friends, family, and my other half, who encouraged me to keep writing, even when the words didn’t come easy. Your unwavering belief in me has been my greatest strength.

Finally, to you, the reader: this book was written with you in mind. Whether you’ve found solace, inspiration, or simply a moment of reflection within these pages, I am honored that you chose to spend your time here.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

A Journey in Words

In pages bound and stories told,

A world of dreams begins to unfold. Here lies a journey, rich and deep, Awake the thoughts that gently seep.

With every line, a path we trace,

Through heart and time, we find our place. So take this book, dear reader, see

The echoes of our shared journey.

Let every word and whisper here Be a companion, close and near. As chapters turn and pages sway, May you find a light along the way.

Welcome to this tale we weave,

Where hopes and truths are sure to cleave. In these lines, both bold and small,

Find the magic that binds us all.

CHAPTER 1

NEW BEGINNINGS

I’m just another guy, but I’m not like everyone else. Each of us is different in our own way.

This is the story of my college life...

In 2019, I joined a college that my parents had chosen for me. I thought my college life would be wonderful—full of freedom and excitement. But reality hit hard once I stepped through those gates.

The college was incredibly strict, with numerous rules and regulations. Some of them were harsh: daily exams, mandatory attendance from 9 AM to 7 PM, and the prohibition of interaction between boys and girls. The days dragged on, each one blending into the next.

One day, during a break, I was walking through the college corridors when I saw her—an amazing girl in one of the classrooms. It felt like love at first sight, even though I didn’t get a clear look at her. I decided then and there that I wanted to talk to her someday.

The thought of asking about her was terrifying. What if someone found out? What if people started talking? The fear of the unknown held me back. I was afraid of what others would think and how they would react.

Days turned into weeks, and then suddenly, she appeared in our math class. Not just her, but her entire class had

joined ours. It was a shock, and for a while, I couldn’t focus on anything else. After some time, she and her class moved on, and I lost my chance to talk to her.

As the first year came to an end, I wanted to reach out to her, but my fear was overwhelming. With the end of exams, I hoped that the second year would bring new opportunities to talk to her.

But then, the world was hit by the coronavirus pandemic. The lockdown was imposed, and everything changed. The year that followed was unlike anything I had expected.

“Sometimes, the things we never say become the echoes that linger the longest.”

“In the halls of my youth, I wandered alone, A glimpse of her, like a fleeting tone.

Fear held my tongue, but not my heart, In silence, I cherished her from afar.”

“In the face of uncertainty, we often find the courage we never knew we had, but sometimes, it comes a moment too late.”

“The world stood still, but time moved on, A fleeting chance now forever gone.

What might have been, I'll never know, As the winds of change began to blow.”

CHAPTER 2

THE SEARCH AND STRUGGLE

During the lockdown, I decided to finally message her. I searched extensively on social media, trying to find a way to reach out, but I couldn’t locate her. It felt as if she was impossible to find online.

As days passed, the lockdown continued, and our college shifted to online classes. The hope of interacting with her seemed increasingly distant. I began to think that perhaps luck was never on my side.

When the lockdown was eventually lifted and the college reopened, I was filled with anticipation. On the first day back, I went to college with hope in my heart, only to find that she wasn’t there.

“Through the screens and shadows, I searched for a light, A connection unseen, a whisper in the night.

Yet fear held my voice, and distance grew, But still, in my heart, I held on to you.”

Many students didn’t return, and I couldn’t understand why. I wondered if the virus was still a concern or if she was continuing with online classes. After some inquiries, a friend told me that she was still attending online classes.

Days turned into weeks, and eventually, she did come back to college, but only for a few days.

“The days turned to weeks, and weeks into years, But I held on to hope, despite all my fears.

Though words remained trapped, and courage was weak, My heart never wavered in the love it would seek.”

One day, I gathered the courage to follow her home, hoping to find a way to talk to her. However, my fear took over, and I couldn’t bring myself to call out to her. I didn’t know how to approach her and ended up leaving without saying anything.

Time continued to pass, and despite the second year of college moving forward, I still couldn’t find the courage

to speak to her. Yet, with just a 0.01% hope, I clung to the belief that one day, I might get the chance to talk to her.

Maybe this kind of situation is common for many, but for me, it was unique. I never gave up on the hope of reaching out to her, no matter how difficult it seemed.

Each day, I hoped for a chance to make it happen, even when others might see it as just another fleeting hope.

“Hope is a fragile thread, but in the quietest corners of our hearts, it can weave the strongest dreams.”

CHAPTER 3

A NEW BEGINNING AND A MISSTEP

My intermediate studies were complete, and I found myself lost in thoughts about her. Not a single day passed without thinking about her.

During my B.Tech counseling, I finally found her Instagram account. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and the sight of her profile sparked a mix of excitement and anxiety.

On October 23rd, I saw her for the first time in my college corridor.

“In the corridors of life, where shadows often fall, I stumbled on my words, and in my fear, I lost it all.

Yet in the echoes of regret, her memory stays, A flicker of hope that time cannot erase.”

That same day, I decided to message her on Instagram. I waited for the right moment and finally mustered the

courage to send her a simple “Hi.” I received a reply, but it was somewhat rude.

In my nervousness, I accidentally tapped the video call button. Within seconds, I realized my mistake and ended the call. I was unsure of how she would react.

To my dismay, her friend soon called me, asking why I had tried to video call her. I was mortified and tried to apologize, explaining that it was an accident. I cut the call, overwhelmed with embarrassment.

The whole incident left me feeling humiliated. In a moment of regret, I deleted my Instagram account, not knowing what else to do. I spent days reflecting on my mistake, feeling like I had ruined any chance I had with her.

“Sometimes, a single misstep can feel like the end, but hope has a way of finding its path through the cracks.”

Time moved on, and I joined My B.Tech College. Despite this new beginning, I couldn’t forget her. It felt like she was always on my mind. I never knew whether she was in the same college or if she had moved on, but the thought of her lingered.

As the first semester of B.Tech came to a close, I was still caught up in thoughts of her. The possibility of ever reconnecting with her seemed distant, yet I clung to the hope that one day things might change.

CHAPTER 4

THE MASKED APPROACH

Days went by, and I still couldn’t shake off my thoughts about her. I found out that she had joined a college far away and managed to get some details about her. Despite this, I couldn’t move on from my feelings.

I was unsure of what to do next. I decided to try reaching out again, but this time, I wanted to keep my identity hidden. So, I created a fake Instagram account and sent her a message, hoping to connect without revealing who I really was.

“Behind a screen, where secrets hide,

I reached out with feelings I couldn’t confide.

A message sent, a heart laid bare,

Yet met with suspicion, a response so rare.”

On October 23rd—the same day I had first seen her in the college corridor—I sent a message from the fake account. I was nervous and anxious as I waited for her reply.

I wrote, “Hi, you don’t know who I am, but I’ve known you for the last two years. I really like you and would

love to meet you one day, but I can’t reveal my real identity right now.”

Her response was harsh and rude. She replied, “What the hell? Who are you? Stop bothering me!” It felt like a punch in the gut. She clearly thought I was just another prankster.

Embarrassed and unsure of how to proceed, I tried to

explain that I wasn’t a prankster and that I genuinely liked her. However, she thought I was just another person trying to prank her, and her frustration was evident.

Days passed, and I made several attempts to get her to understand my true feelings. Despite my efforts, she continued to see me as a stranger and was reluctant to engage in meaningful conversation.

There were moments when we did talk, and those moments brought me happiness, even though I was anxious about her discovering my real identity. The fear of her reaction weighed heavily on me.

“Sometimes, the desire to connect is masked by fear, making our honest attempts appear as

misunderstandings.”

During our conversations, she asked me why I was afraid to reveal my true identity. I wanted to explain, but my fear held me back. I was terrified of how she would react and didn’t want to risk losing any chance of getting to know her better.

Her patience and understanding were clear during our conversations. I hoped that, eventually, she would see my true intentions and not just think of me as a prankster. I wanted her to know that my feelings were genuine, and

that I wasn’t trying to deceive her.

“The pain of being mistaken for a prankster, when all you wish is to be understood, can be a silent wound that only time can heal.”

CHAPTER 5

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

Days passed, and our conversations grew more frequent. I found myself chatting with her daily, asking numerous questions, and trying to understand her better. Despite my efforts, she kept asking for my name and my real identity, which I hesitated to reveal.

She would often ask, “When will you tell me your name? When will you reveal who you really are?” Her persistence was both reassuring and frustrating. I wanted to meet her in person but was unsure if it was the right time.

“Every day, our chats grew more profound, Yet my name remained a secret, bound.

When asked to meet, I hesitated to show, But in each conversation, my feelings did grow.”

One day, she asked if we could meet. I told her that it wasn’t possible at that moment but promised that I would

definitely meet her someday. However, this response didn’t sit well with her, and she expressed her frustration, saying, “If you really want to meet me, you should make it happen. I can’t wait forever.”

Despite the tension, I reassured her that I genuinely wanted to meet her and that I was making plans to do so. Her skepticism remained, but I hoped she would eventually understand my intentions.

In the following days, our conversations continued. She sent me messages asking why I hadn’t called her yet. She wanted to hear my voice, and it was becoming an issue for her. I felt pressured to make a call but struggled with the idea of revealing myself.

Eventually, I decided to call her on November 6th at 7 PM. We talked for a long time, and it was a mix of emotions. She asked many questions about me, my life, and how I knew her.

“November’s call was a bridge we crossed, With questions and answers, our fears were tossed.

Though my name remained hidden, our hearts drew near, In the warmth of our voices, I found joy clear.”

I tried my best to answer and explain everything. However, I still couldn’t bring myself to reveal my true identity during the call, and I kept my details hidden.

Our conversation brought me joy, and I felt a deep connection with her. It was one of the happiest moments for me, even though the call eventually ended. I felt that talking to her was a significant step forward, and it made me hopeful for the future.

CHAPTER 6

THE GROWING TENSION

After our first call, we spent a lot of time talking, and our conversations became more frequent. She began asking me a lot of questions, probing into my behavior and how I felt about our interactions.

One day, she asked, “Do you think I’m behaving in a way that crosses boundaries or limits? What would you do if I did?”

I tried to reassure her, saying, “It’s not about you crossing limits. It’s about how we handle things together. If there are issues, I’d rather face them together rather than letting them create a rift between us.”

She seemed uncertain and asked, “Will you just leave me if things don’t work out?”

I replied, “I wouldn’t expect you to do that. I care about you and wouldn’t just leave you. It’s about understanding and resolving issues as they come, not just giving up.”

She pressed on, “Why do you say that?”

I explained, “Love means accepting each other’s flaws and working through problems. I believe in facing

problems together rather than running away from them. If there’s an issue, we should deal with it together.”

Her response was, “Are you serious about me?”

I tried to lighten the mood, “Of course, I’m serious. Sometimes I’m just trying to make things less tense.”

She said, “You seem so innocent and naive. I don’t want you to be hurt by me. Please don’t have high hopes that might lead to disappointment.”

I reassured her, “I’m here to explain and understand. I’m not trying to create false expectations. I want to build something real.”

Despite my explanations, she continued to doubt my sincerity and expressed concern that I might eventually leave her. She was still unsure about my true feelings and my real identity. Her questions about whether I was genuinely serious about her or just playing games were constant.

We had many chats where she seemed to be seeking reassurance, but her trust in me was wavering. She wanted to know more about me, especially my real identity, but I was still hesitant to reveal it.

The tension between us grew as she struggled to see my true intentions and my commitment to our relationship. I

continued to try to show her that I was genuine, but it felt like there was a constant barrier of doubt that I couldn’t fully overcome.

Our conversations became more frequent. As my B,Tech first year ended and the holidays began, I had more time to connect with her. Our talks became a regular part of my day, but one Saturday morning, things took an unexpected turn.

She called me around 10 AM…

“Calls long and heartfelt, yet misunderstood, In every word, I wished for good.

But your doubts and my silent plea, Kept us apart, struggling to see.”

We started with light conversation, but soon, she began speaking negatively about herself. Her self-criticism was intense, and I struggled to understand her. It felt like she was expressing frustration and was upset with me, though I couldn’t quite grasp why. Her words were harsh and confusing.

I tried to make sense of it all and said, "When I care about someone, I embrace both their strengths and flaws. It's important to accept both the positives and the negatives."

Despite my efforts to communicate and understand her perspective, she responded with, “You’re being childish. Why are you acting like this?” Her response hurt, and I felt like she was questioning my sincerity.

Throughout the day, from morning to evening, the situation didn’t improve. She continued to criticize me, and I struggled to make sense of her words. She questioned whether I really cared about her, but her frustration made it hard to have a meaningful conversation.

“From morning calls to evening’s light, Our conversations felt so right.

Yet in your doubts, my heart would ache, Hoping someday we’d find the break.”

The next day, I tried calling her again, hoping to clear things up. She still seemed annoyed and asked why I was

so concerned about her opinions. Her reaction was confusing, and I felt like I was missing something important.

Meanwhile, it was the first time I had spent so much time talking to someone over the phone. I had rarely talked to anyone for such long periods, and it felt significant to me.

During these calls, my mom began to notice how frequently I was on the phone. She overheard parts of our conversations and commented on how serious I seemed. I had to cover up by saying it was just a friend, which added to my stress and provided some unexpected humor. The irony of trying to keep things under wraps while my mom pieced together what was happening was not lost on me. My mom had her own suspicions, and I could sense her concern about how involved I was becoming. I tried to reassure her, but she could tell something was up. The humor in these situations—like when I was so distracted by our calls that I forgot to eat, and my mom joked about my lack of appetite being a sign of being in love— provided some comic relief amidst the tension.

Despite my efforts to explain, our conversations became increasingly tense. She voiced her frustration, saying, “I don’t understand where this is going. You keep saying you care, but it feels like you’re avoiding the truth and pretending everything is fine.”

Her frustration became clear as she said, “I’m feeling confused and hurt. You say you care about us, but it seems like you’re not addressing the real issues or making an effort to meet me. If we don’t meet this year or if

things don’t change, I’m not sure how much longer I can wait. If you don’t genuinely value what we have, maybe it’s time for us to move on.”

Her words were a painful reminder of how far apart we were, and it left me grappling with uncertainty. I wanted to find a way to bridge the gap and show her that my feelings were genuine. But it felt like no matter what I did, I couldn’t quite reach her.

“True connection requires not just understanding, but also patience to weather the storms of doubt and confusion.”

CHAPTER 7

THE GROWING DISTANCE

After our previous conversations, she stopped talking to me completely. I sent numerous messages and made several calls, but there was no response. I felt lost and unsure of what to do during that time.

“Sometimes silence speaks louder than words, leaving behind an echo of what was left unsaid.”

Despite my efforts, she didn’t reply to any of my messages.

“Messages sent, but no reply,

I watched the days and nights go by.

Her silence echoed in my heart, A painful drift that kept us apart.”

Finally, one day, she responded with anger. Her message was harsh: “Why are you messaging me so much? I told you I needed space. You keep sending messages and

irritating me. Please stop.”

I tried to explain calmly, asking, “Didn’t you say you wanted to talk things through? I just want to understand what’s happening.”

Her response was full of frustration: “Why are you

making things worse? If you don’t understand my needs and respect my space, then I don’t know what to say to you.”

Feeling confused, I decided to meet her in person. I booked train tickets to visit her, even though I wasn’t entirely sure if it was the right time. Her anger made me hesitant, but I felt that meeting her might help resolve things.

However, she continued to avoid talking to me. Despite my attempts to reach out, she didn’t respond to my messages. It had been a month since we last talked, and I still couldn’t figure out what to do. I thought about

visiting her college to see her, but I wasn’t sure if it was the right approach.

Eventually, I decided to return home. I hoped that maybe one day, things would improve, and we could meet. But

with the passing days and no sign of resolution, I was left feeling unsure about our future.

A week after returning, I received a message from her saying “Hello.” I was thrilled and replied, asking how she had been. She responded vaguely, and our conversation didn’t go anywhere meaningful. She mentioned that her exams were over and asked if there was any chance we could meet. She also warned me that if I didn’t make an effort, she might block me.

I felt frustrated and helpless. Despite trying to explain my feelings and intentions, she seemed to be losing interest.

Her messages became infrequent, and it was clear that she was frustrated with me.

As the New Year approached, I decided to send her a heartfelt message. On January 1st, I reached out with a special wish: “You were the most beautiful part of last year, and I want to start this year with you. Happy New Year!”

“Messages sent, but no reply,

I watched the days and nights go by.

Her silence echoed in my heart, A painful drift that kept us apart.”

I hoped that this message would reconnect us and show her how much she meant to me.

However, the situation didn’t improve as I had hoped. For the next ten days, we exchanged a few messages, but the connection between us was still strained.

After that, she didn’t talk to me for seven long months. Despite my attempts to reach out, I couldn’t make contact with her.

In those seven months,

“Seven months of waiting, hope turned thin, I wondered if we’d ever begin again.

Her silence was a heavy weight, A sign of love that came too late.”

I constantly pondered over our relationship, wondering if I should reach out or if I should respect her space. I

wanted to contact her, but I didn’t want to be a disturbance. So, I chose to remain silent, hoping that time would heal our wounds.

Every day felt like an eternity, and the silence became a painful reminder of what once was.

“Waiting in silence is like holding onto a memory that refuses to fade but never truly returns.”

The distance between us grew, and I struggled with the emotional weight of it all. The longing to reconnect with her was a constant ache, but I knew that pushing too hard might only make things worse.

And so, I waited, hoping for a sign, for a chance to mend what had been broken, but the silence remained unbroken, a haunting echo of lost opportunities and unspoken words.

“In the quiet, I searched for peace, But longing made the pain increase.

I waited, hoping she’d return,

But in the silence, I slowly burned.”

CHAPTER 8

THE UNEXPECTED MESSAGE

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, without a word from her. The silence was deafening, and I had started to lose hope. Then, out of nowhere, after seven long months, I received a message from her.

Surprised, I quickly replied, asking her what was going on. Her response was blunt, “I sent it to you by mistake.” I replied with a simple, "Okay," trying to hide the disappointment.

In an attempt to keep the conversation going, I casually asked, “Have you eaten?”

She responded, “Yes, you?”

“Yes, I did,” I replied. She simply said, “Okay,” and that was the end of that conversation.

A few days later, she sent me another message, asking, “Did you create a new account to message me?

Someone’s been texting me lately, and I thought it was you.”

I reassured her, “No, that’s not me. Why would you think that?”

She replied, “Just wondered. I thought it might be you.” Her words left me feeling a bit hurt—did she really think I would go that far? I told her, “I would never do that.”

“Words left unsaid build walls that silence can never break.”

She simply responded, “Okay,” and the conversation ended there.

“Her words were sharp, her tone was cold, I tried to reach, but couldn’t hold.

The love we had, now lost in space, A silent cry, a forgotten place.”

After that, we exchanged a few more messages, trying to keep things light. One day, she sent me a message that I couldn’t quite understand. I wanted to share what I was

feeling, so I told her, “Loving someone without meeting them every day shows that love isn’t just about physical presence but comes from the heart.”

“When love is questioned, doubt becomes the language of the heart.”

Her reply was sharp and dismissive: “Those are just words. They don’t work in real life.”

I felt a sting of pain but responded, “I think there’s a chance they could work.”

She replied, “Sure, whatever,” and once again, the conversation ended on a sour note.

Then one day, out of the blue, she asked me a strange question. “You’ve been calling and talking to me, right? That’s not really your voice, is it?”

I was taken aback. “Of course, it’s my voice! Who else would it be?” I said, feeling a mix of confusion and sadness.

She replied, “Okay, fine. I just thought… well, never mind.” Then she added, “Do you know something? I’m

talking to you because there’s something about you that I like. But I’m waiting for you to finally meet me and tell me everything you’ve been hiding. If you keep delaying, I might stop talking to you altogether.”

Her words made my heart race. I wanted to meet her, but I needed time to figure things out. I told her, “We’ll meet, but I need some time.”

“When?” she pressed. “Why can’t you just meet me now? What’s stopping you?”

“She asked for reasons, asked for time, But all I had were words that rhyme.

The truth I hid, too hard to share, Left our love in thin air.”

I hesitated, then said, “It’s not that simple. Please don’t

ask for reasons right now. Even if I explain, I don’t think you’ll understand.”

She was furious. “Do you think I’m not mature enough to understand? What’s wrong with you? Why are you being so difficult?”

I tried to calm her down, “Please, don’t get upset. Let’s talk calmly.”

“Whatever,” she said, her frustration evident.

After that, our conversations became strained. The distance between us grew wider with each passing day.

One day, I sent her a reel, hoping to lighten the mood. Her reply was sharp: “You say you love me, but you won’t

meet me or tell me anything about yourself.”

“You say you love, but do not show, How can I trust what I don’t know?

Your words, they hurt, they cut me deep, And now I’m left with nights I weep.”

I replied, “There’s a reason for everything. I’ll tell you, but I need a little more time.”

She responded with a cold, “Nice. But why do you like me so much?”

I paused, searching for the right words, then typed, “I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I just know that I like you—a lot.”

She snapped, “Don’t give me that! How can you say you love me when you won’t even meet me or tell me who you really are? What am I supposed to think? How can I not get angry when someone shows me love and affection like this? Anyone else would’ve blocked you by now, but I haven’t because of the effort you’ve put in.”

Then, in a quieter tone, she added, “But my patience is running out.”

I was left speechless. I didn’t know what to say or do anymore. The situation had become so complicated, and I felt lost, unsure of what the future held for us.

“Sometimes, the hardest truth to accept is that love alone isn't always enough.”

CHAPTER 9

THE STRAINED SILENCE

After that last conversation with her, I found myself at a loss for words. The way she spoke, the sharpness in her tone—it left me feeling empty. I stayed silent, unsure of how to respond. Our conversations, which used to flow so easily, had now become stilted and mechanical.

When I messaged her, she would respond, but her replies were short and indifferent—just a “hmm,” “okay,” or "hmm okay." The warmth was gone, replaced by a cold distance that I couldn’t bridge.

“In every ‘okay’ and 'hmm,’ I see, The love you’ve slowly lost for me.

A simple chat, a happy call, Now just a memory, that’s all.”

One day, out of the blue, she said something that shook me. “You know,” she began, “people say they love you

for certain reasons, but in the end, they use those same reasons to break up with you.”

Her words hit me hard. I couldn’t let it slide. “Do you

think I would do that?” I asked, feeling a mix of hurt and disbelief.

“It's not just about you,” she replied, her voice carrying a hint of resignation.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my emotions. “Can I tell you something?” I asked cautiously.

“Go ahead,” she said, her tone neutral.

I chose my words carefully. “I don’t need to know about everyone else. Maybe you don’t like me anymore, but don’t think I’m just saying this for the sake of it.

Remember, no matter what happens, I’ll always be here for you. Whatever you decide, I’m here to support you through everything. I don’t expect anything from you.

Just being with you is enough for me.”

She responded with a simple “Okay,” and I followed up with, “Alright then.”

But she wasn’t done. “I’m serious,” she continued, her voice growing more intense. "I’ve lost all my patience. I’m losing interest, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.”

“Interest, huh?” I replied, a hint of sarcasm slipping into my voice. "Alright then, bye.”

“We used to talk for hours, now we struggle to find words.”

“Yes,” she shot back. “You get upset over everything, but you won’t meet me, you won’t open up to me. How am I supposed to stay interested when you keep pushing me

away with your lame excuses?”

“They’re not excuses,” I said, feeling the frustration build up inside me.

“Maybe,” she conceded, “but lately, I’ve noticed that you’re getting angry for no reason. It wasn’t like this before. No matter what I said, you never used to react this way.”

Her words stung, but I didn’t know how to respond. I stayed silent, but inside, I was seething with frustration and hurt.

After that, we barely talked. The days passed in a haze of silence, each one more painful than the last. I thought about doing something special for her birthday, but in the end, I did nothing. All I managed was a simple birthday wish.

After that, I stopped trying to reach out. A few days later, we ended up arguing again—about everything and nothing. It was like we couldn’t talk without fighting.

“Promises fade when love turns into a battle of words.”

Then, one day, I decided to message her. I needed to say something, anything, to break the cycle of tension between us.

“Hi,” I typed, my fingers hovering over the send button before I pressed it. “Very good morning. Do you know what? It’s been a year since our first phone call. I remember every detail—our first text, our first call. I’ll never forget that day. I was so nervous at first, but when you picked up, I was so excited to hear your voice.

It was the first time I heard your voice, and we talked for over an hour. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. Thank you so much for talking to me.”

“You say you’re losing interest, it’s clear, But I’m still here, holding on in fear.

A year has passed since our first hello, But now I’m scared of where we’ll go.”

Her response was short, but it caught me off guard. “It’s been a year already?”

“Yeah,” I replied, trying to keep the conversation light.

We started talking casually again after that, like we used to, but there was always that underlying tension. I didn’t know what would happen next between us. The future felt uncertain, and I was left wondering where we were headed.

CHAPTER 10

THE LONG-AWAITED MEETING

The months of silence between us had left a void that I felt needed to be filled.

“Months of silence, and then we meet, A long journey to where our hearts beat. Your presence brought me peace that day,

But the future still seemed far away.”

After much deliberation, I decided it was time to bridge that gap and meet her in person. I booked train tickets for January 28, planning to see her on the 29th, and kept this decision to myself, unsure of how to broach the subject with her or how she would react.

In the weeks leading up to our meeting, our conversations became less frequent. Despite the growing distance, I felt compelled to express my feelings more concretely.

I spent hours crafting a heartfelt message, detailing our past interactions and my emotions about her. When I finally sent it, I hoped it would help her understand my perspective better.

Her response was immediate and heartfelt. “Oh my God,

I’m so impressed! This story is amazing, and I never

expected this from you. It’s beautifully written and really touched me.”

Relieved by her reaction, I replied, “I’m glad you liked it. I just wanted to share how I feel about you and what we’ve shared.”

She continued, “I’m in shock and surprise. I never imagined you’d put so much effort into this. It’s wonderful!”

However, her excitement soon gave way to a hint of uncertainty. “Is this really how you feel? Are you planning to meet me, or is this just another story?”

“The words I wrote, the train I took, Just to see that familiar look.

Your eyes met mine, a moment of bliss, But what comes next, I can only wish.”

I reassured her, “Yes, I’m planning to meet you. I’ve already booked my tickets for January 28, and I’ll be there on the 29th.”

Her response was a blend of relief and anxiety. “Oh, wow, I’m really looking forward to that day. I can’t wait to finally see you.” (I wondered how she would react when she finally met me in person, as this would be the first time we would see each other.)

“After all the waiting, meeting you was like finding a missing piece of myself.”

As the day approached, my anticipation grew, as did my nervousness about how the meeting would unfold. I embarked on a 12-hour train journey, my mind racing with thoughts about our upcoming encounter.

On the morning of January 29, I arrived at the hotel, freshened up, and made my way to the restaurant where we had planned to meet. Arriving at 11 AM, I waited anxiously, my mind filled with curiosity about her reaction when she finally saw me.

“Seeing you after so long, I realized that some things never change—like how much I care about you.”

At exactly 11:32 AM, she walked into the restaurant. Seeing her after four years was a mix of joy and nervousness. She looked beautiful, and seeing her brought a deep sense of relief and happiness.

“After years, we finally met, A day we won’t soon forget.

The joy was there, so was the fear,

But for now, I’m just glad you’re here.”

We spent the afternoon together, catching up over lunch.

We talked about our lives, shared stories, and enjoyed each other’s company. Despite the time apart, our

conversation flowed easily, and I felt a sense of comfort in her presence.

After lunch, we went shopping together. Although she seemed less enthusiastic about shopping, we explored various places and enjoyed our time together. I bought some chocolates for her at a local store, a small gesture to show my appreciation.

As the day wore on, she mentioned that it was getting late. I dropped her off at her hostel, feeling a blend of contentment and sadness as our time together came to an end.

As I left, I was filled with a sense of uncertainty about the future. Would our connection continue to grow, or would the distance and time apart present new challenges?

The day had been a whirlwind of emotions—joy, tension, and a touch of sadness.

“Our paths crossed after so long,

A meeting that felt both right and wrong.

Joy in the moment, doubt in the air, Yet I hoped for more, with a silent prayer.”

The long-awaited meeting had lived up to my hopes, but the future remained uncertain. I hoped that, despite the challenges, our bond would continue to grow and that we could navigate whatever came next together.

CHAPTER 11

A HEART LEFT IN SILENCE

After meeting her, I found myself standing at a crossroads, lost and unsure of what to do next. The encounter I had eagerly awaited for so long had left me feeling more confused and hurt than ever before.

When we met, I mustered up the courage to ask her about her impression of me. I hoped for something positive, maybe a sign that she felt the same connection I did. But her response was like a cold wind cutting through my heart. She said, “I don't really have any particular

impression of you.”

Her words stung. I tried to hide my disappointment and frustration, but it was impossible. I asked her, “So, what now? Will you keep talking to me, or was this just a one- time thing?”

“Her words cut deep, leaving me standing at a crossroads, wondering how something I hoped for could bring so

much pain.”

She replied calmly, almost too calmly, “I’ll talk to you for a few more days, and after that, I don’t know. I don’t have any special feelings for you. To me, you’re just a friend, a well-wisher. Nothing more.”

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I tried to stay composed, but inside, I was boiling with a mix of sadness and anger. “Is that all I am to you? After all these years,

all those conversations, that’s all I ever was?”

She simply nodded and said, “Yes, that’s it. Actually, I don’t have any other opinion about you.”

Her indifference felt like a slap in the face. I struggled to find the right words, to keep the conversation going, but I was at a loss. All I could manage to say was, “Okay, I see. Take care then. Goodbye.”

She looked at me and asked, “Are you angry with me?”

I forced a smile and replied, “No, not really. It’s just that I never expected this from you. But it’s fine. You’ve made it clear where you stand.”

She then told me, “Don’t get your hopes up or expect anything from me. It’s better that way.”

I nodded, feeling the weight of her words sinking in. “I understand. It’s for the best.”

I was filled with a mix of anger and sadness as I told her, “Don’t message me again. And even if I message you, don’t reply. It’s like I never existed in your life. Just forget about me completely.”

She sighed and said, “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

I replied, “There’s no need to apologize. Maybe I deserved this.”

Before she left, she said, “If you ever feel lonely, or if you just need someone to talk to, you can message me. I’ll be there.”

I shook my head and said, “There’s no need for that. Just forget about me.”

With that, she said a simple, “Okay,” and walked away, leaving me standing there with a heart that felt like it had shattered into a thousand pieces.

“I walked away with a broken heart, realizing that sometimes, love is unreturned, and the only choice is to let go.”

As I stood there alone, I couldn’t help but wonder why I had even bothered to meet her. The moments we shared replayed in my mind, leaving me feeling hollow and empty. It was like a part of me had been lost, something I couldn’t get back.

I was frustrated, angry, and filled with a sense of regret. I realized that no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t just move on and forget about her. It wasn’t that easy.

People often say that time heals all wounds, but when you’re the one going through the pain, it’s hard to see the way out. The pain lingers, and moving on seems impossible.

Despite everything, I decided to focus on my career. It was the only thing I had control over. But deep down, a tiny part of me still held on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, she would message me one day. Even if it was just a 0.01% chance, I wanted to see what would happen next.

“Her voice was calm, her words like ice, While I held back tears and paid the price.

But in my heart, a small hope stays,

That one day, she’ll reach out in different ways.”

This chapter of my life was filled with heartbreak, confusion, and a sense of loss. I knew I had to move on, but letting go of someone who once meant so much to me wasn’t going to be easy. All I could do was take it one day at a time, hoping that eventually, I would find peace and healing.

“A thousand pieces, my heart did break, For love unreturned is hard to take.

Yet I must move on, no matter how slow, And learn to let this pain go.”

CHAPTER 12

EMERGING FROM THOUGHTS, FACING REALITIES

Slowly, I started emerging from my deep thoughts, focusing more on my life and working hard to improve it. Just when I was getting my life back on track, she messaged me after so many days. It caught me off guard since I hadn’t reached out to her at all. Her message left me confused and wondering why she would contact me after such a long time.

“Sometimes, people come back into your life not to stay, but to remind you why you let them go.”

Her message wasn’t personal; she just needed me to send her resume back. I had helped her prepare it earlier, and now she needed it again. I sent it without much thought, and she thanked me. Then, out of nowhere, she asked if I was free.

“Yeah, what’s up?” I replied.

“I need a cover letter. I’m applying for an internship. Could you write one for me?” she asked.

I agreed and sent it to her. She thanked me once more, and our conversation ended there.

She mentioned that she didn’t want to talk but still messaged me. It was as if she was struggling to pull herself out of her thoughts but couldn’t resist reaching out to me. I was confused and didn’t know how to respond.

During one of our conversations, she told me she had an accident and fractured her leg.

“Really? You should be careful. Have you seen a doctor?” I asked.

“Yes, I saw a doctor. They gave me an injection and took an X-ray,” she replied.

“What did they say?” I inquired.

“They told me to take complete rest until it heals,” she said.

“Alright, take care of yourself,” I told her, genuinely concerned.

We continued chatting, though there was a growing distance between us. I cared for her deeply during this time and showed it in every way I could.

As our conversations continued, I noticed she was acting strangely, as if something was bothering her. When I

asked, she didn’t share the reason. Finally, after some persuasion, she opened up.

She told me about a guy she met eight months ago in her college town. They became good friends, and he was always there for her, helping her with whatever she needed. He would take her out, get her things, and treat her with so much care.

I felt uneasy hearing this but didn’t show it. I asked her why she was telling me this now.

She explained that two days ago, this guy confessed his feelings for her. He told her he had been in love with her for the past six months. She said she only saw him as a good friend and was upset that she might lose that

friendship. She didn’t know how to handle the situation and felt uncomfortable around him now.

I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t understand why she had gotten so close to someone without realizing his feelings. It made me angry, but I kept calm and told her, “It’s not a big deal. If you don’t like him that way, just

tell him.”

She continued talking, saying that no one really cares about her or treats her well, and she feels alone despite all the people around her.

I didn’t understand why she was so upset. I decided to change the topic and wished her a good night.

After that conversation, I decided not to dwell on it. A few days later, during another chat, I told her, “I liked you a lot, but not anymore. Now, I just care about you as a well-wisher.”

“I realized that no matter how much I cared, I was only there when she needed something, not because she wanted me around.”

She asked why my feelings had changed, but I didn’t give her a clear answer. I simply said, “Some things didn’t sit well with me.”

She said she didn’t care much about people, didn’t share personal things with anyone unless she liked them, and

that most people found her hard to understand. I told her I understood, and our conversation ended.

We continued talking, and she eventually went home for the holidays. On my birthday, I asked if she could come out and spend some time with me since we were in the same city. She gave me an excuse and refused. I requested her to come, but she insisted she couldn’t. She then asked what gift I wanted for my birthday, and I told her that spending time with her would be enough for me. She said it wasn’t possible, and I replied, “Alright, it’s okay.”

Later, she started an internship. One day, she asked me to take her to the hospital because her leg was still hurting. I agreed, and the next day, I took her to the hospital on my bike. It had been so long since I last saw her in person.

Occasionally, I would drop her off at home after work, but our interactions were minimal.

Days passed, and I asked her why she hadn’t messaged me. She bluntly replied, “I don’t like starting

conversations. If someone wants to talk to me, they’ll message me first.”

I was annoyed and asked, “Does that mean you only message someone if it’s necessary?”

She confirmed, saying she only responds to messages but never initiates them. I asked her if I was important to her at all, and she couldn’t give me an answer. She admitted

that no one was important to her at that moment, not even me.

That was it for me. I said goodbye and decided not to talk to her anymore. For the next two months, I didn’t contact her at all, not even a single message.

This chapter of my life was slowly coming to a close, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

“Her presence lingered, but her heart was far, I realized I was just another star.

Shining bright but never seen, In her sky, I’d never been.”

CHAPTER 13

REKINDLING CONNECTIONS

After several days of silence, I decided to reach out to her. I was concerned about her health and wanted to know how she was doing. Despite initially deciding against

messaging her, I couldn’t hold back.

I started with a simple, “Good morning.” She responded in kind.

“Sometimes, the hardest part is realizing that even after everything, you still want to be there for someone who doesn’t appreciate it.”

Then, she surprised me by asking, “Do you want to talk to me?”

“Yes, a lot,” I replied.

She pressed further, “Why a lot? Tell me.”

I had wanted to have a meaningful conversation, but a sense of doubt crept in. I worried that I might be bothering her.

So, I said, “Nothing, forget it.”

Over the next few days, we continued to chat casually. One day, she sent me a reel. It said, “Never get addicted to anyone.” That line struck a chord with me.

Curious, I asked, “Why do you think that way? Have you ever come close to getting addicted to someone?”

She responded, “I haven’t, that’s why I’m telling you.” I replied, “Alright, if that’s the case.”

Another week passed. One day, I asked her casually,

“What do you do when you feel lonely? And do you talk to anyone daily?”

She replied, “When I feel lonely, I listen to songs. And no, I don’t talk to anyone daily. I don’t like it. If I talk to someone for a few days, I distance myself afterward. I don’t know why, but I start feeling uncomfortable when I connect with someone too much.”

I asked, “Is that so? Then, am I bothering you by talking to you daily?”

She replied, “I don’t know, maybe.”

I could sense something was off, so I said, "Alright."

She then said, “Do you know what I don’t like about you? You get hurt too easily. You ask me something, I give you an answer, and you get upset. You have expectations when you ask me things, but I don’t respond the way you want, and then you feel bad. Why do you do this every

time? It’s happened so many times... even last time." She continued, "What’s your problem?"

I tried to explain, "I just want to understand you better. I want to know how to be with you and how to behave around you."

She responded, “Don’t get your hopes up. I’m not the right person for you.”

“Why do you think that?” I asked.

“Why do you waste your feelings on me?” she questioned.

I replied, “Why do you think they’re wasted? My feelings for you only grow stronger, and they won’t diminish.

They’ll remain constant forever.”

Then she said something that hit me hard: “Good, then just die.” She meant it as a joke, but it hurt deeply.

“Her words cut like a knife, a joke turned cruel, Yet, I found myself drawn to her, despite the duel.

I wanted to be there, to make things right, To care for her deeply, through day and night.”

The pain from her words made me decide not to talk to her anymore. I was angry and deeply hurt.

During our earlier conversations, she had mentioned that her leg was hurting. So, I had ordered a leg bandage for her, hoping it would help.

A few days later, she messaged me again.

“Did you block me on Instagram? And by the way, the bandage you ordered has arrived,” she said.

I replied, “No, I didn’t block you. I deleted my Instagram account.”

“Why?” she asked.

I explained, “I downloaded Instagram just for you. But now, there’s no need for it anymore. No matter what I did for you or how much I cared, you still told me to die. I

liked that very much.”

She apologized, “Oh, I said that out of frustration. Sorry.”

I replied, “It doesn’t matter. Leave it. But I can’t forget those words. My heart can’t accept them.”

She responded, “Okay, your wish.”

After that, I blocked her on WhatsApp as well. I decided I couldn’t bear to talk to her anymore.

Four days later, she called me out of the blue, acting as if nothing had happened. She messaged me on WhatsApp, asking, “Did you block me?”

I was unsure how to respond, but eventually, I messaged her again, realizing that I couldn’t just let her go.

“I thought of leaving, but my heart said no, Even when she hurt me, my feelings would grow.

I vowed to stay, to care and to fight, To be her support, both day and night.”

“No matter how much it hurts, I can’t walk away. I’m here for her, through the highs and lows.”

From that moment, I made a decision. I would stop holding back. I decided to give it my all to take care of her. I realized that if I liked her, I had to accept both her positives and negatives.

“In moments of pain and harsh replies, I found my resolve, beneath the disguise.

To be her strength, despite the scars, To care for her deeply, no matter how far.”

I was determined not to let her go. I would put in all my effort to be by her side, to take care of her. Even though she didn’t have a father, I resolved to treat her like a queen, just as her father would have if he were still around.

From then on, I promised myself that I would always be by her side, no matter what.

CHAPTER 14

EMBRACING THE JOURNEY

We continued talking daily. One day, she sent me a reel with a message that said, “You can't handle my mood swings.”

“Even when someone tells you they can’t handle your mood swings, true care is sticking around and promising to understand and appreciate you.”

I responded, “I have dealt with your mood swings before, and that's why I’m still here, talking to you without hesitation. Maybe sometimes I didn’t understand you perfectly, and I’m sorry for that. But I’m absolutely sure that I can’t stay without caring for you. I want to talk to you every day, and I promise to handle all your mood swings and take great care of you.”

She replied, “You can’t.”

I said, “Maybe, but can you give me some time? I can't just walk away from this journey."

She agreed, saying, "Okay."

I assured her, “From today onwards, I’ll make sure to notice and appreciate all the little things and gestures that make you so special.”

She asked, “But why?”

I replied, “Because you’re so important to me, and I want to notice everything about you. I will do my best to keep you happy.”

She then told me, "But I’ll never enter your life as a relationship... just remember that. And don’t blame me later."

“When someone says they don’t want a relationship but still stays by your side, it’s a reminder that love doesn’t always come with labels.”

I was a bit taken aback and said, “Why are you saying

this? I don’t know how to respond. But I understand; you don’t have to come into my life or enter a relationship if you don’t want to. I will always respect your boundaries and never blame you for anything. But if you did, what’s the harm? Would it bring any problems?”

She replied, “I’m not interested in relationships. I don’t even know what I want.”

I respected her feelings and said, “I understand you’re not interested in a relationship. I respect that.”

“Respecting someone’s boundaries while still cherishing them shows a love that’s deep and genuine, even without expectations.”

She responded, “Okay.”

“Even when someone tells you they can't be in a relationship, true care is about respecting their choice and continuing to support them wholeheartedly.”

And so, we continued talking, understanding each other more with each passing day.

I started treating her with even more care, and I wrote her a heartfelt letter, expressing just how much she meant to me. I was excited and anxiously waited for her response after she received the letter.

When she finally got the letter, she messaged me, saying, “I read your letter. Your efforts are great, and it was really nice.”

“Your letter touched her heart, a step so true, In a world of confusion, I still pursue.

To understand you fully is my endless quest, For in your complexities, I’ve found my best.”

I replied, “Really? Thank you.”

No one knows this, but she’s incredibly caring and takes great care of me, though she never shows it outwardly. It's something you have to understand for yourself. She might

come off as angry often, but that’s because we tend to show our true emotions to those closest to us.

She often directed her frustration towards me, but I never took it personally. She’s always treated me well, even if she didn’t express it openly.

“Sometimes, the most genuine connections are those where you accept each other’s flaws and cherish the little things that make them special.”

There were times when I didn’t fully understand her, but she’s truly a gem—a diamond in the rough. She holds countless memories within her, like the vastness of the ocean. No matter how much I try to understand her, it’s never enough.

I consider myself incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to talk to her.

As her birthday approached, I found myself wondering what to do. This book is a part of that journey, and I’m curious to see how she’ll respond after reading it.

“You said no to a future, no to a bond, Yet in every moment, my heart stayed fond.

For in your care, I found a precious light, A love without labels, but always in sight.”

To all of you reading this, if you’d like to share your thoughts, feel free to message me on Instagram at @thalassophole_09. I’d love to hear your reviews of this book.

Finally, I want to thank her and everyone who has taken the time to read this. Your support means the world to me.

“Waiting teaches us patience and perseverance, reminding us that sometimes the best things in life come to those who wait with a hopeful heart.”

To All Who Read

In pages turned and stories told,

You’ve walked with me through paths both bright and cold.

With every line and every word you’ve read,

You’ve breathed life into dreams and hopes I’ve shared.

Thank you for your time, your eyes, your heart, For letting this journey be a shared art.

In each reflection, in each thoughtful glance, You’ve given these words a chance to dance.

Through highs and lows, through moments stark and clear,

Your presence here has brought the pages near. For every pause, for every thought profound, Your understanding wraps this book around.

May the tales we’ve woven, the truths we’ve spun, Find a place within you, like the morning sun.

In gratitude, I send these words to you,

With hopes they touched your soul, and helped you through.

For every chapter you’ve embraced and known, You’ve made these pages more than just a tome. To you, dear reader, I offer this simple cheer—

Thank you for journeying with me, and holding dear.

If you enjoyed reading this book, I would love to hear from you!

Please share your thoughts or write a review by reaching out to me on Instagram at @thalassophole_09

Your feedback means the world to me and helps me grow as a writer.

Also by the author: Manohar

Thank you for taking the time to read my work. Your support and encouragement inspire me to continue writing.

By Manohar Choppa