By Ayushi Jaiswal
For me, I should fade-
Beneath the weight of the world pressing too heavy, I should quietly slip into stillness, where I am no longer the flickering flame holding against the wind or a mere soul whose existence burns beneath the scorching sun. I should fade into nothingness- liberating this world from the burden of my existence, for, I am just another autumn bound to fall, fall into this very earth I came from.
The ache of my being is too deep to ignore, love is a torment- when it comes to love myself, for I would never fall for someone like me, how do you live for yourself when all you see are flaws?
For me- I am a river striking for stillness, to just empty into the endless sea. For me- I am just an abandoned garden, choked with weeds- flowers withering without the touch of rain. The shadows here too vast to capture the light, the wounds too deep to heal. For me- I should die as nothing- as if no one like me even had a shard of existence here.
For you, I will fight-
Like the fortress strong and unyielding, I would unsheathe my sword even if my hands tremble under its weight. I will be the stubborn ember clinging to the wick, where I will defy the storms simply because I would never leave you in darkness. I would fight until my skin melts into my bones- even if I have to renew myself just so you are never alone. For you- I will be the spring bound for rebirth, blooming into me anew every day.
The ache of my being would never surpass the ache of not being with you, love is salvation- when it comes to loving you, for I would always fall for you, how do you NOT LIVE for someone when all you want is for them to never fall apart?
For you- I am a river carving new paths through stones and peaks, just so I can carry you safely on my currents. For you- I am a garden blooming again, even if I have to reap the barren soil with tears turning down. The shadows here can’t stand the light of your eyes when I stay, the wounds too shallow to stop me from running to you. for you- I will live as everything- as if everything in me has existence for you here.
They say- ‘death isn’t scary, what’s scary is the disappearance of your existence from every single consciousness.’ and I never believed it, for all I cared was the disappearance of myself. but, now even the thought of me disappearing from your consciousness, makes me ache. For when I die- all I want is to be remembered by you.
By Ayushi Jaiswal
Comments