By Samriddhi M
I squinted through sleepy eyelids, peering up at the figure above me as the gilded tendrils of sunlight pierced into the otherwise dark bedroom. A groan escaped my lips as I hurled an annoyed, "Okay I'm up!" at my childhood best friend Sasha. I stood up, the movement sluggish from the late afternoon nap as I glanced at the window where the feeble winter Sun was finally managing to melt the last remnants of ice from the frost-covered glass panes. Beyond the glass was a vast landscape, stretching out in hues of white and viridian as the grassy fields glistened beneath a shimmering blanket of snow. The trees stood sentinel, stripped of any hint of green as the golden sunlight traced delicate patterns on their frost kissed branches, the fragile icicles catching the light and glimmering like tiny crystals. I walked up to the window, marveling at the symphony of ice and snow before me that I was too tired to notice when I arrived early in the morning. I slid open the glass panes, inhaling the crisp, cool air, savoring the scent of pine and wood wafting into my lungs. In the distance, the Himalayan range embraced the valley like a sacred amulet, its jagged hilltops jutting into the sky as if reaching for the heavens like the gaping maw of a huge beast.
"Hurry up or we'll miss it!", Sasha's urgent voice echoed from the adjacent room.
"Yeah coming in a sec", I yelled back, tearing my gaze away from the open window as I rushed to put on my shoes.
Sasha and I had been best friends since as far back as I can remember, there was not a single childhood memory I have that doesn't involve her, we had basically been inseparable since kindergarten up until the day her family had to move to a different state. And even the move halfway across the country had failed to separate us, thus commencing a tradition of spending the vacations together, alternating between her home and mine. So, there I was, continuing the tradition at her place, gearing up to leave for the carnival. Sasha had discovered that the winter sunset looked breathtaking when viewed from the top of the Ferris wheel and was adamant about showing it to me.
We were already late, thanks to the jet lag that caught up to me when I dozed off after lunch. So we had to hurry in order to make up for the lost time. With it being the last day of the carnival Sasha wouldn't let me off without showing me the spectacle, which, according to her, was comparable to heaven on earth. I was sceptical, of course, annoyed at being unable to complete my nap as I groaned, trudging down the stairs.
"At this pace, we won't catch the sunset even if we run all the way! Come on!", Sasha called out from the front door in an exasperated voice.
"Ehh none of that is needed because guess what? I learned to drive last summ-," I began in a relaxed tone only to be cut off by her high pitched voice.
"Woah! What? You never told me!" She squealed as she ran over to engulf me in a hug.
And after an arduous ordeal of her sneaking her dad's keys from the living room, we were finally in the car, giggling and speeding off on our way.
"Nooo I don't wanna die-", Sasha's scream cut through the air, her overly dramatic tone dissolving into giggles as she mocked my driving skills.
"Heyyy!! At least I can drive, unlike some people here." I quipped back at her light heartedly, feigning offense.
"Woahh-", I gasped, the laughter dying down in my throat as I gripped the steering wheel, knuckles whitening around the leather. My entire body tensed up, eyes flung wide in shock and concentration as I barely managed to bring the car under control once again. Turns out, driving on slippery roads left behind by the melting snow was far harder than driving in perfect conditions back home.
"Oooohh when I said you're gonna get us killed I didn't mean for you to take that literally", said Sasha from beside me, her tone dripping with sarcasm, which I noticed, was completely at odds with the vice-like grip her hand had on my shoulder.
"Haa..", I let out a ragged, breathy sound--something between a laugh and a cry, "Damn really?! Here I was about to give up my life just to make your wish come true, how disappointing." I said in a mocking tone. Glancing at her from the corner of my eye, I saw a smile break out on her face as she laughed at my poor attempt at a joke. The sound washed over my body, some of the previous tension ebbing away from my limbs as my muscles relaxed once again.
She had the kind of laughter that could light up a whole room, the kind that puts you at ease and makes all worry slip out of your mind as you sink into the delicious melody. It had always been one of my favourite things about her, the way laughter came so easily to her, how her lips parted in that effortless glee which was so impossible for me to comprehend. I was, in many ways, her opposite. Where she was sunshine and full of laughter and cheerfulness, mine was the moonlight, pale and melancholic in comparison, my feeble light born out of her intense brightness. I was the pale echo to her brilliant radiance, offering the world a mere glimpse of the immense intensity that she harnessed.
"Look!" Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts as I glanced out of the window to where she pointed. I looked to my right, where the dove-white mountain tops loomed over the valley, their tips embalmed with tiaras of powdery snow. The sun had begun its descent, casting a delicate glow of pink and lavender as if painting the mountains with a soft blush. The rugged terrain disappeared under a blanket of molten lava as the sly mist wrapped around their ankles and shrouded the valley below, aglow with a fiery brilliance lent by the final rays of setting sun. The disappearing whispers of sunlight hugged the terrain in a delicate embrace, elongating the shadows and accentuating the harsh lines of the rocky landscape. It was a burning tapestry painted by the setting Sun, as if the sky had bowed down to bestow a kiss onto the earth below. I was awestruck, already starting to envision what the scene would look like from a vantage point far above the ground when I heard it.
Her gasp.
My eyes snapped back to Sasha, just in time to see her eyes widen in shock as she raised her hands in a desperate but futile attempt to protect herself. We were hurling towards an approaching truck and I had been too distracted to notice in time.
I snapped out of the daze, grappling for control of my own limbs as I spun the steering wheel in a dire attempt to veer us out of the way of impact. The screech of tires pierced through the air, echoing in protest at the sudden change of course.
Time slowed down to a crawl, each moment stretching into an eternity as if the universe had paused to hold its breath. I looked up, my eyes locking with the driver of the truck that was hurling towards us at an impossible pace, the dread and panic in his eyes mirroring my own.
I felt it before hearing it, an impact so forceful that it seemed as though the earth itself had been wrenched from beneath me. The truck slammed into the passengers side, sending us lurching sideways, the seatbelt cutting into the skin of my chest and shoulders like a vice. The collision lasted for a fraction of a second and yet it was enough to shatter the window as metal groaned in protest. A million fragments glided through the air, the delicate shards catching the sunlight like a thousand sparkling diamonds, a cruel contrast to the absolute devastation surrounding them.
I saw Sasha's lips part in a silent scream as the splintered glass grazed her delicate skin before the world erupted in chaos, time unfurled from its standstill as the car spun and the world outside became a kaleidoscope of different hues. With a sickening thud, the sound of impact reverberated through me. I closed my eyes as the sound hit me, a blood-curling screech, the voice so unmistakably familiar that I could recognise it in a dream and yet the sound utterly alien.
It ended just as abruptly as it had begun, the world greeting my blurring vision sideways as my body slammed to a stop against the door of the toppled car. I blinked, instinctively reaching for Sasha as my fingers closed around hers, the rest of the world to a muffled echo in the havoc we had just left behind. I tried to turn my head, to assure myself that she was alright but my muscles refused to obey. My body felt like a dead weight, completely out of my control as I blinked, trying to clear my vision but the world appeared crimson. I blinked rapidly, a vague sense of confusion washed over me as I thought the sunset wouldn't be so overpoweringly bright.
I groaned, agony coursing through my body as I managed to glance at Sasha and gasped, the sound coming out as a distant choked cry as I looked at her head bent at an awkward, almost inhuman angle. A long shard of glass was wedged into the pale skin of her neck, her once vibrant eyes devoid of any sign of life as the ruby red liquid staining her neck and skin dripped down into my eyes, the world turning a richer shade of crimson with each passing second.
My fingers tightened around hers, as a wave of nausea overtaking me at the sight of her lifeless form. Tears mingled with blood on my cheeks as the darkness threatened to overcome any hint of remaining consciousness. I looked away, the once serene landscape now a mangled blur of reds and purples as the dizziness threatened to engulf me. I closed my eyes, the veil of consciousness growing thinner with each shallow breath as I surrendered, letting myself fall into the deep dark abyss.
That was thirty years ago and yet I could feel the familiar pang of tears behind my eyes as I held my daughter's hand. Her skin growing colder with each passing second as the memory of that fateful day resurfaced with haunting clarity. She had been involved in a car crash while returning home with her friend. I grimaced, the movement more like a wince at the cruel play of fate. Her friend's life had been spared as her side of the car took the bulk of the impact and I could feel the mocking grin of karma pressed against my skin.
When I lost my friend that day her family had blamed me for her death, and honestly I blamed myself too. Their resentment had lingered over me through the years, the shadow of her death looming over me, unrelenting and refusing to fade into the background. So I guess losing my own child was the karma's way of seeking retribution, a vicious cycle of destiny repeating itself.
I gulped, my throat raw and dry despite the ample tears staining my cheeks. I refused to let this cycle of unforgiveness and retribution continue. With a determined resolve, I stood up, casting one last glance at my daughter. In that moment, I made a choice—to forgive myself for my best friend's death and, in doing so, to forgive my daughter's friend as well. I could not bear to place the burden of blame on a child for something as unfathomable as death, especially now that I knew what it felt like.
By Samriddhi M
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