By Dipshikha Das
Who are you?
You are made up of imagination
You were made out of desperation
A fictional character
Created to bear the duties i wanted to evade
Girl what are you doing?
It was never love
It was a fictional story
It was a play
Girl what are you doing?
Names were taken from real people
And characters were made
So that i can depend on them
In every story i was the main character
And they were the love interest
Girl what are you doing?
After the fictional story was made
I became desperate to meet them
The so called love interests
The shadow puppets made in my mind
Made of smoke
Girl what are you doing?
I called out to them desperately
In the madness
Girl what are you doing?
Who are you?
I despise you
Go away go away
Shadow puppets conjured by me
Girl what are you doing?
I went mad
Now it's difficult to recall
Because of the pills
Girl what are you doing?
Glad i can't recall
Or else I would have despised myself
I became wary of those people whose names i took
To conjure the shadow puppets on whom l put the weight of my depression
Girl what did you do?
They called it attacks
Which were blackouts for me
I don't want to be a victim again
The feeling of helplessness is like struggling to breath
The struggle is too painful
Girl what did you do?
I don't know
It wasn't me it was my intoxicated mind
A foolish mind who believed in fairy tales
A mind that conjured up shadow knights
And conjured fictional stories in a desperate plea for help
A mind which was drowning and wanted to come up to the surface to breath
But in its struggle lost sanity
Expectations were too much
The feeling of inferiority was too much
Girl what happened?
My mind in its struggle to keep me breathing gave up on sanity
Girl what do you think?
I think it is okay
It is okay you can let go past self
Of the pain it caused you
The pain gave you self love
The pain let you live
As the saying goes everything happens for a reason
I am grateful for everything that happened because it gave me a reason to live a reason to love myself and a reason to hope to be alive instead of just living
It made me immortal
Girl what are you saying?
The feeling of loving yourself
The feeling of admiring yourself
Is what being immortalised means to me
People might forget me i might forget myself too
But the healed scars made me an immortal
Girl what are you?
A human being
A life
A sane body
An insane mind
By Dipshikha Das
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