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Noted Nest

Anguish

Updated: Jul 23

By Peehu Jaiswal


Anguish

Do u think it would be dramatic

Like a gun to my head 

Hand queering on the trigger

Do u think I would go with it or will I reconsider 

Or would it be subtle

Like a bottle of tablets

A empty glass of wine 

Notes open on my phone and my favourite rhyme

Do you think it would be melancholic

Letters to family when I’m gone 

I already did cause them so much grief

How do I ask them to move on 

Or would it be tragic 

Like Knife to my wrist 

A pool of blood 

Staining my mother’s favourite sheets

Do you think it would be grand 

Like water in my lungs  

A bloated corpse tied to a cinder block 

Or would it be converted 

Driving down a busy lane 

With breaks that don’t function

A slip onto a eternal plain

Do you think it would be deranged 

Like alcohol or pills 

Addict instead of a coward 

A victim of abuse instead of anguish

There is infinite possibilities in my mind 

Of how could I end it, I hope I don’t act on it 

I don’t know what tomorrow has to offer

But I stand here with you in solidarity

Saying That you aren’t alone 

I have demons of my own 

And even if today is a loss as I contemplate my worst thought

Tomorrow I shall wake up with a hope

And if tomorrow is the same I hope the day after that brings a change


By Peehu Jaiswal

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