Abditory

By Khushi Gupta

Abditory - a place you can disappear into 

Soulmate 

Looking into his eyes, I was so sure of it. He was there. After everything, he was still here. Right by my side as he said he would. He was, gosh he was so beautiful. I loved himso much. Soulmates. I never really belived in that absurdity, but he changed my whole outlook on it. I found a soulmate. Someone who is mine, and someone who never left my side, dealt withmeat my lowest and never gave up on me. We had some heart wrenching arguments, some of thesaddest moments, we got real close to falling apart, we had breakdowns, we shared joy, sadness, anger, urge to protect each other, love. Love. Words can't describe howmuch I lovehim I love him more than the word 'love' itself. It was dreamy, strong, passionate, fierce, challenging, changing, raw and almost fiery to be with him. 

He was my equal in everything. I couldn't help but tear up, of joy as he stood in front of me. Hiseyes shone with pure adoration and love for me as I looked down at him. On his knees, smiling. His smile. I always had a thing for smiles. They were pretty but his smile, it was mesmerizing, the one that had so much power over me that I would do anything to see himsmile andtobethe reason behind it, it felt so unreal. I looked at him with tears in my eyes, my heart felt likeit would come out of my chest, I giggled looking at him observing me, zoning out, even at atimelike this. I shook my head before grazing my fingertips against his cheek. 

"You're a gorgeous man" 

I didn't speak anything. I was at a loss of words. This moment was so overwhelming, I couldn't help but smile looking at him. 

"You've been someone who has always accepted me for who I am. I never felt judged or uncomfortable around you. Even when I had just met you, I couldn't deny this connectionbetween us and I'm so glad I took my chance and explored it. You've always faced my demonswith me, you've been my best friend, my soulmate, my prettiest lover and I couldn't have askedfor anyone else. With you, life looked worth living. Forever is not half the time I want us tospendtogether. We've been a team. A beautiful, weird yet unbreakable driving force. You alwaysmakeme realise how much of a lucky man I am, to have you, to call you mine. My other half, my love, my man. If I die soon, I'll die as the happiest man alive, because all of the moments, memoriesand love you've given me. Will you marry me? "

I was a sobbing mess, filled with joy. Marriage always seemed something bounding to me. I didn't want to marry anyone but when he came in , he just made it so easy. He made it seemlikeit would be worth it and it was. He was my most precious treasure and I couldn't have askedfor a more worthy husband for myself. 

I was sitting by his bed, crying, reminiscing, his hand was caressing mine softly. 

"It's going to be okay. I told you before right , I would die as the happiest man alive knowingI got to be with my soulmate, the love of my life, knowing I got a chance to experience love." 

I cried more. "Please.. Don't go, I don't know how I will do this without you." 

He smiled. His beautiful smile seemed pale and sad yet it comforted me in ways I couldn't graspthe words to describe. I knew I had to let him go. 

"I told you before didn't I? We will be together till death do us apart. See? I kept my promise." Achuckle left my lips as the pain in my chest increased, my throat dry , eyes red as I continuedcrying near his side, praying for a miracle, hoping for the best. 

"I guess my time here is over, I'll wait for you. We'll meet again and you better take care of yourself till then or else I'll come down from heaven itself and smack you." 

A hearty laugh escaped my lips as the tears stained my face. "What makes you so sure you'll goto heaven, jerk." 

He smiled. "Because that's where you'll go, heaven, and I belong wherever you belong , angel. I love you. 

The tears didn't stop and he kept caressing my hand, comforting me with all he could. Hecriedwith me. 

"Let's sleep, together, by each other's side for one last time and tomorrow , you'll have tolivefor both of us okay? You'll do it. I know you will. Till we meet again." 

How could I? How could I sleep knowing he won't be here with me tomorrow, he won't bechirping his comforting words to me tomorrow, he won't be annoying me with his weirdjokestomorrow, knowing that tomorrow, I'd have to let him go. It was not fair. His arms were whereI felt most safe and wanted. It's like we belonged together and death, death was the only cruel thing that was able to break our inseparable bond. How could I live watching the love of mylifedie? That night, I wanted it all to be a dream, I wanted to stop time, so desperately just soI couldhold onto him for one more day and then one more after. He was my safeplace and I didn't know

how I was supposed to accept the fact he would not be here any more. 

It was hard and very painful. The most saddening and heartbreaking night of my life but hesaidhe couldn't be more grateful, to have the love of his life by his side when he took his last breathson earth was almost heavenly for him and I couldn't help but cry more for this night wouldbetheend of us. Together. And till we meet again, he'll be waiting, for me with a smile.

By Khushi Gupta