By Sreshta Sree Rama Subramanian
Birthdays... Oh, the mere mention of them sends a whirlwind of emotions through my soul. I think i would without a doubt put it into my list of most hated words. Not because I dread getting older—not at all but because birthdays have always been a bit of a rollercoaster for me, and it is probably because of how manipulated and horribly changed its meaning has become.
First things first, let me set the record straight: I'm not your typical birthday enthusiast. I'm not the type to plan grand parties or demand lavish gifts. No, I'm more of a quiet soul, content with simple pleasures and the warmth of loved ones around me. But birthdays? Well, they've always been a bit of a conundrum.
You see, in my family, birthdays were never a big deal. Sure, we'd acknowledge them with a sweet mostly being payasam and maybe a small gift, but that was about it. It's not that my family didn't love me—they did, but they just weren't big on extravagant celebrations. And you know what? I was okay with that. I preferred the cozy intimacy of our little gatherings to the loud, flashy parties with drinks that some of my friends had.
But as I grew older, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy when I saw my friends' elaborate birthday celebrations. It wasn't that I wanted the same for myself, but rather, I longed for the sense of belonging and connection that seemed to come with it. After all, who doesn't want to feel special on their birthday?
Gift-giving was another story altogether. I've always had a love-hate relationship with gifts. On one hand, I adore the thoughtfulness and generosity behind them. But on the other hand, there's always a sense of guilt that comes with receiving them.
And then there's the whole issue of reciprocity. Whenever someone gives me a gift, I feel this overwhelming pressure to reciprocate in kind.
But here's the thing: I'm not exactly rolling in dough. As a young woman just starting out in the world, money is tight, and extravagant gifts are simply out of the question. So, I find myself caught in a never-ending cycle of gratitude and guilt, never quite sure how to strike the right balance. As I grow though, the gift giving has slowed down so it doesn’t bother me like it used to.
But perhaps the most perplexing aspect of birthdays, at least for me, is the whole social media circus, Instagram birthday wishes. But before i try and explain that i think a little bit of backstory is required.
In India, the concept of celebrating birthdays has traditionally been deeply rooted in spirituality and gratitude. It's a time to reflect on the gift of life bestowed upon us by the divine and to express our heartfelt thanks through acts of worship and devotion at temples or places of spiritual significance. It's also a time for familial and cultural traditions, like wearing new clothes as a symbol of renewal and prosperity, and preparing special homemade treats to share with loved ones.
However, in recent times, there has been a noticeable shift in the way birthdays are celebrated, With the rise of social media and Western influence, the emphasis on materialistic and superficial aspects of celebration has become more prevalent.The mere emaning of birthdays and birthday celebration has been totally tarnished. It's disheartening to witness the transformation of a sacred occasion into a shallow display of hedonism and excess.
Instead of honouring the sanctity of life and expressing gratitude for blessings received, some individuals opt for superficial displays of celebration, such as partying at pubs, wearing revealing clothing, and indulging in excessive consumption of alcohol. The moment your birthday comes, it is an immediate obligation for people to open instagram and see how many birthday stories they got, when they’ll leave their house to go party and drink bottles of champagne and what dress they will wear and when they get to the restaurant t they spend hours and hours to click one picture because if they dont post about it on their social media, theyre heads will burst open until they get those 100 views. This kind of celebration seems devoid of meaning and substance, reducing the significance of birthdays to mere social status symbols and superficial displays of wealth and popularity.
As someone who cherishes the traditional values and spiritual significance of birthdays, witnessing this cultural shift can indeed be humiliating and disheartening. It feels like a betrayal of our cultural heritage and a loss of reverence for the sacredness of life. But amidst the noise and chaos of modern-day celebrations, it's essential to hold onto the values and traditions that truly matter to us, finding solace in the simplicity and authenticity of our own cultural practices. After all, true celebration lies not in the extravagance of the party, but in the sincerity of the heart and the depth of our connections with others.
Let me tell you, it's like entering a digital minefield of obligatory niceties and superficial gestures. You spend hours crafting the perfect birthday message, meticulously selecting the right filter and emojis, only to have it disappear into the void of forgotten stories faster than you can say "Happy Birthday!" And don't even get me started on the pressure to reciprocate every single birthday wish with one of your own. It's like playing a never-ending game of social media ping pong, except the ball is your self-esteem, and it's getting bounced around by strangers who barely know you exist.
Call me old-fashioned, but I'd much rather receive a heartfelt text or, better yet, an actual phone call from someone who genuinely cares. Because let's face it, in the grand scheme of things, Instagram birthday wishes are about as meaningful as a screen door on a submarine—completely pointless and utterly absurd.
In the world of social media, birthdays are a big deal. I noticed how everyone on Instagram was posting colorful stories, celebrating each other's special days. It looked fun, so I wanted in on the action. I started sending out birthday wishes to my friends, hoping for some love back when it was my turn.
But as time went on, I realized something wasn't right. While I was busy wishing others, hardly anyone remembered to wish me on my birthday. It felt pretty lousy, like I was putting in all this effort for nothing. I started feeling left out and unimportant.
At first, I thought maybe my friends were just busy or forgot. But as it kept happening year after year, I couldn't ignore the pattern. I felt pretty bummed out, wondering why I wasn't getting the same love I was giving.
Eventually, I realized that chasing validation on social media wasn't making me happy. I decided to step back and focus on real-life connections instead. I found joy in simple things and stopped worrying about what others thought of me.
Last year, I made the mistake of putting all my hopes into a single Instagram post. Was i wrong to expect a birthday wish back in return? I poured my heart and soul into crafting the perfect birthday wishes for all my friends and family, expecting nothing in return but a few kind words in response.
But you know what they say about expectations, right? They're the quickest way to disappointment. And disappoint, they did. Despite my best efforts, not a single person wished me a happy birthday on Instagram. I waited. And I waited. And I waited some more. But still, nothing.
It wasn't just the lack of birthday wishes that got to me, though. It was the feeling of being left out, of not belonging. I watched as my friends and acquaintances posted their own birthday wishes for others, wondering why I hadn't received the same treatment. Was I not worthy of their attention? Did I not matter?
In a fit of frustration, I did the only thing I could think of: I deleted my Instagram account. It was a rash decision, fueled by equal parts anger and embarrassment.
The toxicity of Instagram birthday wishes knows no bounds. It's like a never-ending cycle of validation-seeking and disappointment, where your worth is measured by the number of digital confetti emojis on your screen.
You find yourself caught in a vicious loop of anticipation and letdown, wondering why you're always the one putting in the effort while others reap the rewards. It's enough to make you question your own self-worth and sanity, as you scroll through endless stories of people celebrating each other while you sit on the sidelines, feeling like the designated party pooper.
And the worst part? You start to internalize the rejection, convincing yourself that maybe you're just not worthy of the same attention and affection or more so what is so wrong about you that when others get grand stories posted and you dont even get a single one.. But let me tell you, my friend, that couldn't be further from the truth. You are worthy, you are loved, and you don't need a bunch of fleeting Instagram stories to prove it. So take a deep breath, step away from the screen, and remember that your value doesn't diminish just because someone forgot to tap on your profile picture.
Sure, Instagram had its fair share of toxicity and negativity,which coming to think of did do me a big favour and a sense of liberation. I realized that maybe, just maybe, I had been looking for validation in all the wrong places. I couldnt be more glad that this learning took place at an early stage
And so, armed with this newfound wisdom, I made a vow to myself: no more seeking validation from others, no more measuring my worth by the number of likes and comments I received. From now on, I would find happiness in the little things and validation in the quiet moments of self-reflection, self respect and introspection.
As I reflect on the whirlwind journey through the maze of Instagram birthday wishes and societal pressures, I realize that true happiness cannot be found in the fleeting validation of likes and comments, but in the depth of meaningful relationships and the richness of cultural traditions.
With a renewed sense of purpose and clarity, I make a conscious decision to reclaim the true essence of celebration, rooted in spirituality, gratitude, and authenticity. I reconnect with my cultural heritage, embracing the traditions of my ancestors and finding joy in the simple pleasures of life—a heartfelt prayer at the temple, a homemade feast shared with loved ones, and the warmth of genuine laughter and companionship.
As I embrace this newfound perspective, I discover that the most meaningful celebrations are those that nourish the soul and uplift the spirit, transcending the superficiality of social media and societal expectations. With each passing year, I find deeper fulfillment in the moments spent in quiet reflection and heartfelt connection, free from the pressures of comparison and validation.
And so, as i light the lamp on another year of life, I find myself surrounded by the love and warmth of family and friends, grateful for the blessings of the past and hopeful for the adventures that lie ahead. In a world consumed by the constant buzz of social media's nonsense, I have found peace in the simplicity of living authentically, cherishing the beauty of each moment and embracing the true meaning of celebration—joy, connection, and gratitude.
By Sreshta Sree Rama Subramanian
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