By Antariksha Chatterjee
As small kids, how often do thoughts about competing and comparing ourselves to others traverse our mental space? It doesn’t. But as we grow up, the society’s normative jurisdiction befalls upon us. We are no more appreciated for the efforts we make to achieve something, our value rests simply on our achievements, and thus underpinning the proliferation of feelings of rivalry, contention and envy. Just when we develop friendships, these antagonistic tendencies start budding up alongside.
I was in my primary school when I bagged the Third Prize in Inter-school Essay Writing Contest, I was elated to receive the news and eager for the award ceremony, where I was enthusiastically cheering for every winner, happy for their achievement. Later, my jubilation plunged into gloom when few of my classmates ridiculed me for being ebullient at others achieving better positions than me. Never had a thought ever crossed my mind past the remark that we cannot be happy at other’s accomplishments. When I stood first in school examinations, I could notice a visible difference in the behaviour of my friends, who would not consider me a friend anymore. Instead, just a competitor, an opponent whom they despise and should vanquish by every possible means. This fiendish attitude of my fellow-mates left me all alone. I was a victim of bullying throughout my school-years. As a child I never understood why would anyone hate me? The pessimism in my surroundings made me vulnerable to the perceptions of people, even though I never coveted the success of anyone else, still pangs of despondency struck me at every juncture where I met failure. In this transient world, we might rejoice in these achievements for a while, but we are not the master of the final outcome which may or may not be conducive to our desires. We are entitled to our actions only, as nothing belongs to us, we must leave everything and turn to dust one day. Does it mean advocating complete relinquishment? No, as sensible human beings we must understand our purpose in life- to contribute to the betterment of the mankind and the nature around nurturing us. In this period of rapidly changing global dynamics, we are becoming desiccated souls devoid of kindness, love and empathy, incited by feelings of constant comparison, we are so engrossed in racing ahead in this hustle, no conversation is exchanged without arrière-pensée, all that matters now is how bedecked our victory-altars are.
They say, failures are the stepping stones to success, yet no acquiescence is ever demonstrated to it on their part. In keeping up with the Joneses, we forget to experience life, gather memories, build genuine relationships and distract ourselves from what we actually wish to do in life. The standards society set for us become the moulds where we forcefully try to fit ourselves, nothing is excluded from opinion, from what we eat to how we dress to our preferences and life-choices, we are directed to pursue a utopian ideal non-existent in reality. Neither is anyone born perfect nor is there any level of attainment providing us the pedestal to be crowned perfect. We all are born different with different gifts, how can there ever actually be a comparison? We are wading the ocean of life, but submerge not being able to drudge the weight of anticipation which pulls us down before we reach the shore. It becomes difficult to detangle ourselves from threads of judgement that clench us. Accomplishment at the cost of a devastated inner world, a success which always feels less, can never be owned, enticed we run but realize it is never enough. The more we get, the more we want and every
time guards are let off, it is lost. Captive to worldly fallacies, we allure to charming pretence, lest we stay oblivious of our actual capacity and the spectrum of possibilities buried. Strangulating ourselves in this materialistic cobweb, we are left befuddled and astray. We take sojourn in validation from another person, trying to sketch an image of ourselves with the ink of others to give us a sense of worth. However, the remarks of people are fleeting and is often not an appropriation of how we are, instead is a mirror to the encounters they had in their lives. We start weaving a tapestry of expectations shaped by the society and every time a weft thread is missed, we smash ourselves to smithereens, start questioning our existence, delve into miserable rumination and many choose the path to self-inflict pain leading to appalling consequences. There is no end to this cycle.
How nourishing can that feeling of accomplishment be instigating in us the idea- I must be the only best and rest are lesser than me? It hinders our ability to inculcate the good things from others and truncates the horizon of our learning. Our diversity adds to our beauty, we should acknowledge the good in people. There is no one more or less significant, we all must
unite together. We are all humans, creation of the Almighty. We are deemed to be the most intelligent species on this planet, should we not be the most compassionate spirits too? Winning accolades, but treading backwards in the humanity index is what will make the earth a better place?
The sham of happiness keeps masked the heart lost in the dark abyss. The journey to overcome this conflict of comparison and competition is not a walk on a velvety path. We would often find ourselves sinking in deluge when we fail to meet the expectations of how we ought to perform. We must understand, our strength is more than what we perceive and can be tapped into only when we rise above the fanatics of competition. We are the strongest opponent of ourselves, we must aspire at becoming better versions of our own self, conquering ignorance, arrogance, selfishness, jealousy, pride and greed.
Zen Shin once said, “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” We become our best by focusing on ourselves. In the garden of the world, we are all seeds who can bloom into ambrosial flowers. The seed cannot choose the soil or surroundings it will grow in, similarly, we cannot control the circumstances we are raised in. Optimum faculties might not be provided in many cases, but it is through trudging the high mountains, the toughest and majestic personalities emerge. We are all part of the transcendental creation of the cosmos and must unleash our true potential. We all have a role to play, it is through interlacing different sets of yarn at different angles spectacular textiles are woven. The variety in the threads enhance the glamour of the fabric manifold, we are the warp and weft woven in the loom of life, the threads will be stretched, twisted, sometimes run long and sometimes short, knitting in counts of odd and even weaving exquisite patterns and motifs to become a representation of the beautiful manifestation of the universe.
By Antariksha Chatterjee
The essay was really nice to read!!